Today we bitch about first world problems. Last week, my Samsung S4 bit the dust. It wouldn't turn on, even though the whole thing is intact and it was super frustrating. So I have to call Costco to find out who they use for insurance (because I bought insurance, though I have no record of it) and fortunately when I called Squaretrade, my name is unique enough that they can find me without my receipt and serial numbers or my expired Costco membership number. So in the meantime, I'm using one of the Nokias that my rad friend Jen gave me, but it is a Windows phone. This means it has amazing resolution, probably the best camera available on a mobile device, but it hates Google. And for someone who has SEVEN Google accounts, this is no bueno. So yesterday I got my new S4 replacement (without a battery!) and once it was all charged, I have to attempt to restore all my accounts: 7 Gmails, 6 Twitter accounts, 4 Instagram accounts, etc. etc. and suddenly I believe in "The Cloud" and why for everything moving forward, I need to accept all those pop-up offers to back my shit up. Because even with all these accounts, I lost a ton of stuff on my old device itself and have no way of knowing if it is worth the $100 or so repair just to get it back. It's funny, I think the last time this happened, I was about to set off to SXSW. So that week is nearly upon us again, and even though I'm not going, I'm sure as hell going to know about every single party because apparently they all warrant press releases to one or all of my seven Google accounts. If you need to reach me for anything, try me on Facebook, because even though we all hate it, it is probably the most reliable platform available. Everything else is going to take me a few days. Thursday through Saturday archives are after the jump.