|Old Mission Damn and Mission Trails Regional Park (Taken 1.9.2021)|
Tonight we dropped Nova off at my mom's for a sleepover and I'm riddled by anxiety over it. We haven't really been anywhere, so I'm not concerned at all that Nova could give anything to my parents, but I think my whole psyche has just completely shifted. I understand how and why people become shut-ins. When we leave the house, I can't wait to get back home, completely wash my hands and face and change out of my clothes that have been out in the world. It's not good and it's not healthy but at least I'm recognizing it and I think letting her stay there so she doesn't have to endure the planned excavator breaking up the lot next door and removing our trees is a first step. And we'll be going to the San Diego Zoo and San Diego Zoo Safari Park this week, too, so maybe I'll see shining examples of people actually masked up and can at least temper these feelings that the world outside of my home is insane and scary. It all could just be my lady functions talking, too. Maybe all I need is chocolate.
While we were at my parents' house, it was a little bit sad lamenting family and friends lost to the pandemic. Nobody immediately close to us has died though we are aware of distant friends, but the lamenting was more about family and friends who have completely signed on to the virus as a hoax, the election was stolen, the revolution is still yet to come, and a "real" inauguration will happen on March 4. Uncles, godfathers, cousins, siblings that you just can't believe were educated people that believe all of this bullshit. It really is so sad and scary and a total mindfuck if you think about it too hard. But it's also why I've fully embraced my cocoon. Since the kid is gone for her first sleepover since March, me and Darren will be living it up Speakeasy style tonight so I'll sign off and expect that Monday is going to be a day full of briefings and news. Stay safe out there!