Sunday, October 10, 2021

CoViD-19: Anti-Vaxxers Get The Axe | Oil Spill Response | Stay Back From The Bears | Southwest Airlines Delays | Preparing for Goodbyes |


Do you realize
That happiness makes you cry?
Do you realize
That everyone you know someday will die?

If there is a way to prepare for grief, I would like to know it. We live our whole lives knowing that everyone around us will die. Perhaps this is why we love forests, because the trees existed long before us, and hopefully will be here long after we are dust. 

The knowing doesn't make it an easier. My dad is hanging on at the VA hospital and when I spoke to him today, he was hopeful that they would be discharging him to home this week, which is his wish, but I think we are waiting to find out if he gets an in-home caretaker provided that isn't my mom. And any care at this point is just palliative care as he has been weened off all of his meds. That is just a daunting thing to think about and so I really don't think about it as much as I can avoid it. 

But this week we're making the decision to euthanize Kiwi. She is my 22 year old cat. She was my second cat, who I adopted to keep my first cat Syndey company when I was at work. Tragically, Sydney was hit by a car, and after that, Kiwi has outlived my dog Pascha, and my other cats Monkey and Boo Radley. Kiwi was born from a cat whose owner thought she was a boy until she had kittens. That cat was owned by my friend's aunt and has had a picture featured in a Dia De Los Muertos alter since she died at 21 years old. Longevity, it would seem, was in her genes. But it's time. Every time we've thought it was time before, she would surprise us and go outside, gingerly making it up and down the stairs on her own, just to sniff around the yard and walk with the grass underneath her paws. Today she spent a lot of time outside, we think to find a place to die, but Darren brought her back in and she ate dinner as usual before disappearing back under the bed. But it's clear she suffering and like they always say at the Zoo, we don't want her last day to be her worst day. So she has another night or two with us, and then we say goodbye. There is only grief in preparing for grief. 

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
                                                        Flaming Lips

Stay safe out there. 

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