Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Rosey's Diary: Happy Birthday, Sister | First To Close, Last To Open? | It's Okay To Be Sad

Happy Birthday to my sister, Christy. Taken on my birthday last year, 9.28.19
I feel like I have to qualify my posts everyday to say that I'm grateful for my family, I'm grateful for our general health, and grateful that we're well stocked in food and supplies. That being said, I don't know if Tax Day is just marred for life (even with the 3 month automatic extension,) if I'm not getting enough sunshine or exercise or sleep, but I am just really having a day. It's my sister's birthday, so obviously I wish we could be celebrating but instead maybe we'll try HouseParty or Zooming later tonight.

(Read the rest of the diary after the jump.)

Last night, I went to bed at 10pm, hoping that I could get back on a normal sleep schedule. Fat chance of that. 2:30am comes around and this baby across the alley is losing her shit, and of course it's warmed up a lot so their windows were open and ours were open and don't get me wrong, I love babies, but I'm just saying it abruptly woke me up. (I will also say that my heart hurts for families that have young kids and babies right now because it's a lot harder to get the things they need and the risk of exposure is extra scary.)  As the baby finally chilled out, so did I, and then of course, a car alarm began its sequence for the next hour before it turned off or was turned off. So I basically read my new book (Ask Again, Yes) until about 7am before finally falling asleep again for 3 more hours of sleep.

Around 10am I finally started my day. The plumber who worked here last week called that he needed access to our apartment for "just 10 minutes." It's 4:30 now and they're barely wrapping up, so pretty much everything that was in our kitchen is distributed to other areas of the house. A total mess, to say the least.

I had gone nine solid days without leaving our house, but finally had to give in to a shopping trip, but let's just say conveying to my 69-year-old mom and 71-year-old dad that once I'm in the store I can't answer my phone is challenging and wrangling them for what they actually need is impossible, despite telling them to make a list as things came up. I also had the dilemma of going straight to CostCo from Grocery Outlet but not having enough room in the car and letting refrigerated items bake in the trunk or stopping home and then going to Costco. Of course I did the latter and they literally ran out of toilet paper minutes before my arrival, which I could tell because several people in the store had toilet paper in their carts, there was just none to be found on the shelves.

Again, I know these are not real problems, but I have to give myself the room to feel my frustration.

After shopping, and being told to stay away from home as long as possible to give the plumber room to work, I had to go deliver stuff to my parents. It was nice to see my mom (though she was in the house and I was leaving things in the garage)and holler at my dad, and after I got to see my nieces and my sister so I could put my sister's birthday present in the trunk of her car (a case of Stella. duh.) and then I kinda drove the long way home along the bay, passing the salt flats and all the blooming flowers. Still too many people on the Bayshore Bikeway for my comfort level to attempt riding it at this time.

But I guess when you go through the day being angry or grumpy, you have to maybe think of the real reason you're angry or upset or frustrated. And I guess it's this: there are people in other states, and even here locally, who are going about their business like everything is normal. We have the president talking about reopening while SCIENCE is telling us that we're looking at months not weeks or days. And so that reality, that life is not going back to 'normal' but also that maybe we didn't learn a single thing is kind of overwhelming. Meanwhile I can't shake the feeling that the first things to close will be the last things to open. We're planning concerts and events for later in the year, but what if we can't have them? What if Zoos can't reopen to the public? What if travel (thereby touring) is restricted indefinitely? What if all of this could have been prevented were it not for the gross incompetence in the White House?

So yeah, I'm sad. I'm gonna chill on the links for now because right now it's just too much.

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